3rd July 2008

Everything's alright now...

I guess..

Emo-ed on wednesday...

Not wanting to tell him what exctly happended to me..

Just needed some time alone without anyone by my side...

Not that there's no one to be with me..

Just that i wanted to be left alone that's all..

Walked all the way from Ang Mo Kio back home..

Took like 45 mins..

Some people might think i'm crazy..

Why would some one want to walk for 45 mins when the bus from AMK to home takes only 15?

Yes..

I'm crazy..

Wasn't in the right mind...

My dad was at home and i needed a place to calm myself down and kinda sort out my thinking..

Which i never did...

Mind was blank in that 45 mins till my boy called..

Made him worried..

Made him frustrated...

I'm sorry...

But everything's okay now...

For now...

Been only together for less than a month but it seems like we've been together for more than a year..

My dad asked me...

Are you getting serious with that boy...

My answer to him..."Hee hee"..

A smile and nothing else..

My answer to myself?

I don't know..

Still too early to say anything..

He might just decide i'm not the one he wants to be with afterall and leave me for another..

Which i won't be surprised..

I sound as if i'm suffering from paranoia...

And i'm wondering too...

Am i paranoid or did i just decide to give up on life...

Not by committing suicide of course..

But looked at the other side of life..negatively...

Like i always did...

As much as i try to change...

I still remain the same..

Tong told me the other day that some things happened to Yoke Pian....

It's a turning point for her..

One action might just change her whole fate..

Her mum passed away a couple of years ago..

Leaving behind her sister and also her dad...

Recently for some reason..

Her dad landed in hospitl and is in a coma

And her sis came out of hospital recently too..

She might have to stop school to support the family..

I wonder how could heaven be so cruel to her?

And i wonder what could i do to help her...

Stopping school for her is really a waste since she's graduating in just another few months..

But if she continued, where will she find money to pay for her fees..

And what'd happen to her family.

I hope her dad pulls through and everything would turn out fine for her...

As compared to her..i like so much luckier with my whole family with me..

...

My dad passed me 2 books...

2 COOK books to be specific...

Why'd he buy that for me?

He wanted me to learn to cook t least some simple dishes...

His reason?

He doesn't want others to say that how can i not know how to cook when both my parents and my brother can cook...

The APPARENT reason...

He's afraid i can't even cook a decent meal for my future family..

Of course i can'tlet him know that i did cook once when my boy stayed over when they weren't around...

Simple porridge with chicken...

Yes...i CAN cook...

At least it's edible...

Hee hee...

7 days to first month.....