E-M-O-T-I-O-N-S

Bb's out again...

With KW...

It's her birthday and i simply refuse to join in...

The reason?

I've got school tml and i've got UT..

*Bullshit* whoever reading must be thinking "i got so guai meh"..

But i REALLY am that guai..

Tml Cold Chain predicted already D+

Pon somemore.Wa..

Don wan to risk repeating another year in school...

Just for one module..

Back to that...

Bb told me she tried to into a gal to him...

And is obviously up to no good...

Girls are getting scarier these days...

You'll never know what is up in their minds...

And no i'm not one of them..

I'm like half a year short to be considered a woman...

And adult to be exact..

Wonder how much temptations can my baby boy resist...

Wonder what time will he be home again tonight.....

Grrrr...

For the first time i cried on the spot last nite..

With him on the other side of the phone...

that is....

Had a shock didn't u boy?

Didn't realise i will actually cry...

Didn't realise i actually feel very bad about myself deep in my heart...

The butt of the problem..

My darling girl had a tiff with a boyfriend and all she wanted was a chat with me..

And i not even knowing he has a fever told him to go to bed..(because he said he's tired...)

Till his message came and told me to have a happy talking with my darlingand just to tell me he has a high fever and i don nid to reply..

It is my fault not to know he has fever...

But seriously...

how the hell do u tell if a person has fever when i can't even see that person?

And it's not that i don care...

Then he called but i didn't answer...called him back and we had nothing to say...

I'm a very bad expresser and i don't normally talk much (other than talking rubbish)

And u as my bf don even know...

thanks ah...

The silence with a few little tiffs...broke when i said we talk tml and i gg to bed..

sent him a msg saying good nite rest well without any emotions.

only to have his reply...i think i will rest well..i took 5 panadol..

how can anyone react normally when they see such a msg from ur other half?

Then..

i broke down..

Replied him that if that's his way of getting back at me for not showing concern and not being a good gf..

he succeeded...

He really did...

Called me only to find me crying...

Talked it out and evrything's back to normal...

I fucking need my pay can...

Shit no money again....Grrr......

Brr....

No longer have to go to LTH~

Woohoo~~~

At least till the new semester starts.. :)

Updated my Facebook account just now...

Changed my status and added Bb's name..

Until this thing popped up..

I have to wait for confirmation for my relationship status?!

Very funy huh...

I was laughing like mad when i saw this screen pop out..

I seriously think we need to get on with my FYP Poster....

NOTHING IS DONE YET

SHIT!

And the presentation is on 6th August which is like 2 weeks later?

DOUBLE SHIT!

*Condolences to YP...

Sorry that she lost her dad...

And she has to support her sister alone...

I hope she can get over this period..

...

Low...

Am like so so so tired...

Or rather restless these few days...

I'm like down with flu AND cough..AGAIN..

I like just recovered can...

Bb went off to club with his friends..

And yes..Without me again...

Really freaking poor..

And damn no mood to club already..

Could it be the younger hormones in me had died out already?

Or izit the people that i have to go with that the problem lies in...

Hmmm..

I wonder...

His friend is funny...

Introducing him to get into Real Estate..

Sounds wierd..

But beats having him to get involve in illegal stuff...

I should be happy... :)

That is if he decides to actually do things the proper way and move away from the dark side..

My usual naggings..

Or rather warnings that i'd leave him without saying anything if he goes back to his ah beng ways..

hopefully that'd be gone..

Told him i'm dead serious about this..

Hopefully he understands..

Being an ah beng with 20 over kids" as they call them sounds like a big deal..

And i told him..

U join them and have 20 kids below u and u'll lose ur gf at the same time..

Izit worth it? U gauge it yourself...

If he were to go bck to those ways...

I'll know how much i actually mean to him..

If that happens..

I'd probably become more bitchy den ever...

I guess...

Hopefully his friend would lead him to a good way where he could shine..

Or he might not walk this path for long..

But at least it gives him more exposure and experience and more $$..

Him earning $$ is so much better than him spending $$..

Hopefully my boy would grow up more with this experience.. :)

Bed Bed time..

Tml i've still got work...

And tt's after i finish my FYP report..

Zzzz....

Ciaoz..

Sharks fin...i like...

Just came back from Bb's house after dinner...

Had steamboat...

The soup was super sweet...

And super not cheap...

Though they had the steamboat at home..

They had these HUGE prawns..

which were totally impossible to fit into my mouth in a whole..

And the soup..

Ikan billis..

With SHARKS FIN...

Woots...

Buay pai sia..

I zhuan dao..

But feel guilty at the same time since my parents only had a few dumplings while i enjoyed my dinner...

Had his mum to drive me home..

Feel so bad can..

That goondo boy of mine.

Me and his mum tot he knew the way..

We ended up making one big detour..

Went through CTE to the CIty..

Den from there go CTE den exit bradell again..

Kana sai..

One big round can..

His ex gf..

Or rather his sister..

Miss SM...

Kena bastard by her fiance..

He left her for his ex gf..

What a bastard..

Could be my wild thoughts running again..

Could this next happen to me?

As much as i try to trust him more...

But no one knows what would happen..

I won't even blame them now if they still have feelings for each other..

Matters of the heart = complicated...

Other girl friends of him i'd still trust..

But only her..

Don't know why..

I feel wierd..

Oh dear..

Getting paranoid again..

Anyway..

Just hope she could get hold of herself...

Hope she wouldn't kill herself because of a bastard..

Which is seriously not worth at all...

...

To Angelynn.....

I'd better get on with this before Angel starts giving me the ":(" face too much...
Haha~
So here it goes......
A. List seven quirks/habits/facts about you.
B. Tag seven people to do the same.
C. Do not tag the person that tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it".

1. Fact - I love to hug my bolster to sleep more than hugging my boy boy...(Y? Cox my bolster doesn't on v-tec like what he does..Oops...)
2. Fact - I'm atticted to my boy boy's perfume... (er...i just realised it.. :P)
3. Habit - I like to laze on the bed for a very long time after i wake up...
4. Habit - I'd keep muching on tidbits while watchng TV..
5. Fact - I hate school...(who does anyway?)
6. Fact - I love to blast music and sway to the beats.but i can't dance..(contradicting huh..)
7. Habit - Use my concealer before leaving the house...( no choice la..my stupid pimples are too visible...)

People i'm gonna tag.....
Yin Min..
Sebas
Xiao Hui
Winnie
Qiaoying
Kat
Yasmin

I guess.... :P

So gonna go to bed..
Skipped school again today....
:P
Boy coming over for diner tml..
After his doc appt and taking his bath.. :P
Pick me up from school...
And my little monsters are coming over.. :)
I'm so sorry for making my sweetie wait for 2 days and i have no time to accompany her..
Sorry sweetie....i promise i'll be there to play with u tml...
Hurts me to see her cry..
I see her as if my own daughter..
:)
I dono why
and no..
I'm not wanting to be a mother so eagerly..
At least not as eager as boy who wants to be a dad so soon..
Wait 4 more years la huh boy..
Ciao....

...

Have been like staying out late these few days..

Freaking tired..

Freaking poor...

Freaking tak boleh tahan....

Went to MOS yesterday..

And it's...

BORING..

Den headed to NANA to find his cousin..

Sawadeekup..

Very thailand can..

10.08.08

1st month...

Went to Ps...

Made a pair of couple ring from couple lab...

Den dinner at Ichiban..

Den watched Zohan...

Frekaing funny...

Den went down to boat quay to find his friends..

Or rather his girl-friends..

And home..

Nothing special and i kind of expected it..

2 hours 5 minutes to 1.....

Haven't been listening to chinese songs for some time already...

Very randomly..

I started listening to the older songs...

Song by song i scroll down and listen..

Looking at the lyrics..

Humming the tunes...

I find myself recollecting the past....

My failed relationship experiences..

The happy times and the sad times..

The very first time i broke down in front of everyone...

The very first time i fell for someone so deeply..

So deep that it still hurts somewhere inside me...

Listening to the song..

I broke down again..

Jay...回到过去

David Tao...普通朋友

Guess i'm pretty prone to break downs recently...

To most people i should be happily celebrating my first month tml..

Yes..Only first month..

Though it seems like it'd been years...

Maybe i've been hurt too many times...

So many times that i find myself no longer able to trust someone as much as i use to..

I'm paranoid...

I'm pretty sure about that now...

*Definition of paranoid: Exhibiting or characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others

In some other words, i'm just crazy...

Boy..

I'm no superglue and i'm not the typical possessive type of gf..

Don't assume that i'd get angry over the slightest matter...

Though i do at times..

But they all come to the same thing..

I don't mind u clubbing or pubbing without me..

Like what u do mind...though u said u're okay with it..

I can no longer totally trust some one..

And that's a fact i find it very hard to change as much as i wish to get rid of...

I hope that amount of trust placed on you wouldn't be betrayed..

Just like what some others did..

I guess i'd really let go if such thing were to happen...

Not trying to be emo..

Just don't know what's got into me recently..

Seriously...

I really don't know...

I guess u might have told some others about us...

And that's why i heard u say something about everyone thinks i'm wierd these days..

I have to say...

I'm not being just being wierd these days..

I have ALWAYS been a wierdo..

As much as i hate to be labeled as one..

I accepted it..

I am what i am..

hopefully nothing goes wrong tml...

2 hours 5 minutes to 1 month.....

Horoscopes...Again...How true can they be....

SCORPIO - THE VIRGIN (10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person.

TAURUS - THE BAD BOY OR GIRL (4/20-5/20) Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.

GEMINI--HARD TO LOVE (5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Good personalities. Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud.




CANCER - HARD TO CATCH THEIR HEART (6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long- term relationships, if you can actually get them to stick around. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Normally not a Fighter, but will if neccessary. Someone loves them right now, they jut dont know it.




LIBRA - THE PIMP (9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor. Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet.

PISCES - THE SEX ADDICT (2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. BEST kisser. Always get what they want. Very Attractive. Easy going. RARE Find. GOOD when found. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. NOT one to mess with.




LEO - THE SEX MANIAC (7/23-8/22) Very talkative. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and SEXY. Have own unique appeal. Irresistible. Most caring person you'll ever meet! however not the kind of person you wanna mess with...they will kick your ass... u might end up crying...




ARIES - THE PLAYER (3/21-4/19) Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.




VIRGO - THE BEST SEXUAL PARTNER (8/23-9/22) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it.Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.




CAPRICORN - THE SEXY ONE (12/22-1/19) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word.Rare to find. Caring. Smart. Sweet. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please.Loves to smile.Beautiful laugh.Patient.Amazing in the you know where..!!! Bit of naughty.The one and only.







Me......AQUARIUS - THE ONE U CAN'T TOUCH (1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Attractive. Loud. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.



I'm not a great talker.....Neither attractive nor passionate....Laid back is pretty true...Am i great kisser???Very unpredictable....Duh....



One of those stupid chin letters where they sy u'd have how many years of bad luck when not reposted......Whatever...



Am like slacking at LTH...



3 of us playing Beat Bubbles trying to break the record at level 19...And i kena gme over at level 16.... Pretty cute game....

http://flash.ijji.com/game.nhn?id=fspmusic

Happy Birthday Ah min!!!

Happy 20th Birthday to my dear lover~

ZHANG YIN MIN!!!!

Hope she had a happy birthday today..

Though it's not some kind of a celebration..

A simple affair between her, me and ah tong...

At PartyWorld...

My as usual K-ing khakis..

:)

Went home by bus and changed to mrt home..

On the way while walking home..

2 very KAM GONG...

And i mean VERY...

IDIOTS...

Cycling on the pavement...

"SPEEDING"somemore..

Couldn't see them since they came from the corner..

The first one not so bad..

Still can stop in time..

But the 2nd one..

Kana sai..

Never see your friend got stop izit...

Ride so fast somemore..

And i kena hit at the stomach..

Heng i no baby..

Got baby sure miscarriage..

But that's not the main thng..

The main thing i walk faster than the 2 auntie and uncle..

Imagine one or both of them kena hit how..

These 2 brainless idiots..

Pavement for what de?

Walking de right?

What the hell are their bikes doing at the PAVEMENT???

Heng my mood not bad...

If not my vulgarities sure all come out...

I have to work..

I HAVE TO WORK...

I'm so so so broke....

Grrr......

I haven't changed a single bit..

U don't know me long enough to realise the other side of me which you are seeing now..

It's just my fault to not explain things and expect you to understand...

But it's simply just the typical me to handle things this way...

I'm alright with you having good gal pals..

Or even meeting your past memories...

But purposely meeting up for dinner..

and only the 3 of us..

no way..

hope u'd understand how i feel..

not trying to be stubborn but the feeling was...

bad..

hope u'd enjoy the night with her...

without me and him by ur sides..

As much as i don't feel secured..

this is the only way i could handle..

i'm sorry for not wanting to spell out things..

which i feel is totally unnecessry...

This is just me..

Take it or leave it...

If you're leaving...

Do it fast..

I want no regrets...

The fear within me hasn't subsided..

In fact it's still growing..

Sometimes it's not about just one party doing the saying..

Once the other made some actions...

Some promises made could then be broken...

There's no such thing as irreconcilable love..

anything can happen..

I don't wish for that to not happen..

There's nothing i could do to stop it if it really happens...

i just hope for the best outcome..

Whatever it is..

I'd accept it..

I just hope heaven wouldn't make a fool out of me again...

Good night...

Duh...

Feeling so fucked up now...

Am having a freaking gastric pain with no one by my side..

Boy had already left my home to go bck to camp..

Guess he should be snoring already by now...

Cannot call him since he's in camp and confirm wouldn't be able to come out..

Parents not at home either...

I hate this feeling....

Can i just vomit everything out...

Grrr...

Ah min's birthday tml..

Meeting her and ah tong go sing K after school..

Hope she'd have a heppy 20th birthday~ :)

Heck care my gastric now..

Hopefully i cld get some sleep..

It'd be a long day tml.....

CIAOZ...

Randomness....

For some reason i dono why...

I just feel like crying last night...

Went into the room around 8+ with the lights closed..

Armed with my phone and ear piece...

Blast my music and the tears keep flowing...

Maybe too many things have been cramped up in my heart and am just trying to find a way to release them...

Told him and he's like what the fuck...

Saying why i didn't tell him last night..

Please la..

I need my space....

Personality Test

Dreamy Idealists are very cautious and therefore often appear shy and reserved to others. They share their rich emotional life and their passionate convictions with very few people. But one would be very much mistaken to judge them to be cool and reserved. They have a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honourable principles for which they are willing to sacrifice a great deal. Joan of Arc or Sir Galahad would have been good examples of this personality type. Dreamy Idealists are always at great pains to improve the world. They can be very considerate towards others and do a lot to support them and stand up for them. They are interested in their fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once their enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, they can become tireless fighters.For Dreamy Idealists, practical things are not really so important. They only busy themselves with mundane everyday demands when absolutely necessary. They tend to live according to the motto “the genius controls the chaos” - which is normally the case so that they often have a very successful academic career. They are less interested in details; they prefer to look at something as a whole. This means that they still have a good overview even when things start to become hectic. However, as a result, it can occasionally happen that Dreamy Idealists overlook something important. As they are very peace-loving, they tend not to openly show their dissatisfaction or annoyance but to bottle it up. Assertiveness is not one of their strong points; they hate conflicts and competition. Dreamy Idealists prefer to motivate others with their amicable and enthusiastic nature. Whoever has them as superior will never have to complain about not being given enough praise.As at work, Dreamy Idealists are helpful and loyal friends and partners, persons of integrity. Obligations are absolutely sacred to them. The feelings of others are important to them and they love making other people happy. They are satisfied with just a small circle of friends; their need for social contact is not very marked as they also need a lot of time to themselves. Superfluous small talk is not their thing. If one wishes to be friends with them or have a relationship with them, one would have to share their world of thought and be willing to participate in profound discussions. If you manage that you will be rewarded with an exceptionally intensive, rich partnership. Due to their high demands on themselves and others, this personality type tends however to sometimes overload the relationship with romantic and idealistic ideas to such an extent that the partner feels overtaxed or inferior. Dreamy Idealists do not fall in love head over heels but when they do fall in love they want this to be a great, eternal love.

Adjectives which describe your type:

introverted, theoretical, emotional, spontaneous, idealistic, dreamy, effusive, pleasant, reserved, friendly, passionate, loyal, perfectionist, helpful, creative, composed, curious, obstinate, with integrity, willing to make sacrifices, romantic, cautious, shy, peace-loving, vulnerable, sensitive, communicative, imaginative

These subjects could interest you:

literature, philosophy, psychology, music, art (museums), writing, drawing/painting, astrology, spiritual things, meditation, handicrafts, writing, voluntary work

Oh my god...Am i that boring???

3rd July 2008

Everything's alright now...

I guess..

Emo-ed on wednesday...

Not wanting to tell him what exctly happended to me..

Just needed some time alone without anyone by my side...

Not that there's no one to be with me..

Just that i wanted to be left alone that's all..

Walked all the way from Ang Mo Kio back home..

Took like 45 mins..

Some people might think i'm crazy..

Why would some one want to walk for 45 mins when the bus from AMK to home takes only 15?

Yes..

I'm crazy..

Wasn't in the right mind...

My dad was at home and i needed a place to calm myself down and kinda sort out my thinking..

Which i never did...

Mind was blank in that 45 mins till my boy called..

Made him worried..

Made him frustrated...

I'm sorry...

But everything's okay now...

For now...

Been only together for less than a month but it seems like we've been together for more than a year..

My dad asked me...

Are you getting serious with that boy...

My answer to him..."Hee hee"..

A smile and nothing else..

My answer to myself?

I don't know..

Still too early to say anything..

He might just decide i'm not the one he wants to be with afterall and leave me for another..

Which i won't be surprised..

I sound as if i'm suffering from paranoia...

And i'm wondering too...

Am i paranoid or did i just decide to give up on life...

Not by committing suicide of course..

But looked at the other side of life..negatively...

Like i always did...

As much as i try to change...

I still remain the same..

Tong told me the other day that some things happened to Yoke Pian....

It's a turning point for her..

One action might just change her whole fate..

Her mum passed away a couple of years ago..

Leaving behind her sister and also her dad...

Recently for some reason..

Her dad landed in hospitl and is in a coma

And her sis came out of hospital recently too..

She might have to stop school to support the family..

I wonder how could heaven be so cruel to her?

And i wonder what could i do to help her...

Stopping school for her is really a waste since she's graduating in just another few months..

But if she continued, where will she find money to pay for her fees..

And what'd happen to her family.

I hope her dad pulls through and everything would turn out fine for her...

As compared to her..i like so much luckier with my whole family with me..

...

My dad passed me 2 books...

2 COOK books to be specific...

Why'd he buy that for me?

He wanted me to learn to cook t least some simple dishes...

His reason?

He doesn't want others to say that how can i not know how to cook when both my parents and my brother can cook...

The APPARENT reason...

He's afraid i can't even cook a decent meal for my future family..

Of course i can'tlet him know that i did cook once when my boy stayed over when they weren't around...

Simple porridge with chicken...

Yes...i CAN cook...

At least it's edible...

Hee hee...

7 days to first month.....