Blardy Hell...

The stupid woman gave me the red card..

Just because she assumed i can't be able to brig in sales for her...

Hello..

Don't judge people lidat can..

just because i'm quiet doesn't mean i can't work..

Never mind..

It's your loss...

Shall help out my manager to manage the counter stuff instead...

Earn lesser but i think i'd be happier..

And i get at least a day to rest.....

Facing my smiley customers is better than facing that old hag..

Yea...i sound bad...

No...I AM BAD..

But i'm just speaking from my heart...

I knew there'd be trouble the moment i saw her..

Sorry for giving Ken the trouble to find another few girls to that picky woman...

Yes.

She changed not just me..

But another too..

Out of 4..

Sha changed half..

And the event is like a few days away??

Crazy woman..

Don't care...

**************************************

Haix....

Why?WHy?WHY?

Don't remind me of school can....

Results are out and the new Time table is out...

Ow.....I just HATE school..Duh...

Introducing my last 4 modules of my polytechnic life..

Excluding FYP 2 that is...

Talking about FYP...I got a C for FYP 1...

Surprisingly...

I expected a D can...

And my GPA....SUPER BUANG!

Shan't talk about it already....

Just be glad that i passed...

Okay...

Lean Manufacturing and Six Sigma Class.... E44E...

Supply chain Management Class.....E44E.....

Retail Logistics Class....E44B...

Pharmacuetical and Bio-Chem Supply Chain Class...E44E....

Pathetic can....16 people only...Kaox....

I so need to sleep can...

Grr...

Oh yeah..

I've got a blazer for my uniform..

At least i look smarter..

Though Baby laughed at me when he saw me wearing it just now on my way home..

But i know..

I looked good in that...

okay..

BULLSHIT!!

:P

Nuff said....

I don't geddit..

I'm a person with very little words..

And what's wrong with that?

You're talkative and u expect me to talk as much..

My life's boring and i have nothing to talk about...

And what's wrong with that?

I know u're unhappy but that is a fact..

A character which i can never change...

And i'm sorry for that..

And i love you..

Preparing myself for one whole shot of 9 days of working..

For money..

I must push on...

I wanna get new fragrances...

One to be exact..

Don't have the money to get too many..

Am thinking of getting something sweet but not too strong..

Am currently using Escada's Sunset Heat..

But it seems like it's finishing real soon..

I wonder how i used it...

Hmm..

Was late for work today but who cares..

No one was there..

And i doubt anyone woud even realise even if i were to decide not to turn up after all...

Spent most of my time doing Sudoku at the counter..

More time roaming around Bishan...

Zz..Boring..

Bought a skirt at G2000 for $25..Usual was $49..

A white one that is..

Just for work..

Wonder why they need us to wear white skirt..

Duh...PAP ah...

Am thinking whether to get another one or not...

Hmm...

Den off i went to roam around somemore..

Went into SASA...

Tried a few perfumes.

I find F for fascinating by Ferragamo..

And Dream of Pink of Lacoste..

The better smelling ones..

It doesn't matter how long they've been out..

But..

Which should i choose?

Suggestions???

I needed something that can last longer..

But i realise it really depends on individual..

Not the brand of the fragrance..

So...

Which should i get..

Shall get yuxin to help me check out the prices at DFS...

Kekeke...

Off tml and sunday..

But i've got an intervew at 10 am tml morning..

After that...

I wonder should i go to Baby's house or go home first..

He's out tonight AGAIN..as usual..

And i wonder if he could wake up tml...

Don wish to go to his house and face a sleeping buddha...

He's gonna get his shoes..

And me.

Just spend some time with him before my long work schedule starts..

He'll go "kao beh"..

As usual..

Darling...I'm just trying to earn a living..

And i don't see anything wrong with that...

Am i wrong?

Hmm.....

The little voice in me...

I am SO very TIRED!

GeeZ!

I tot i'd be like rotting fot the whole of my holiday..

But looks like i'm wrong..

So.. VERY WRONG!!!

My whole holiday is PACKED...

I wonder if i could take it...

I'm so sorry to my boy that i have to work and neglect him..

But i can't help it..

Can't bring myself to turn down...

It's money ya know!!!

It's like something that we all MUST have..

I think i'm kinda scared of living a life full of monetary difficulties...

And that's why...

Boy...If only you could save?

I guess if you could i wouldn't be forcing myself to work...

Don't get the wrong idea..

I am NOT supporting my boyfriend..

I just needed money to pay my brother..

And of course..

Save money...

Grrr...

For wht you must be thinking...

Just to prepare myself if..

I mean IF...

One day i end up being all lone..

Not having a man who wants to marry me... (like duh..now what era already...)

I would have my own savings and do what ever i like.. :)

Tomorrow work at Bishan then 2 days off...

Before i embark on my sibeh tedious schedule...

Non-stop from Monday..(the 25th) all the way till 2nd Sept...

9 days right..

No big deal right..

Think of it..

A person with lots of health problems like me..

Hmm..

I wonder if i can really take it..

I'm no longer the 16year old who can one shot work all the way without even resting..

YES..

I'm old.. :(

It's sad but it's fact and i accept that fact..

Grrr....

Let's see...

25th- Junction 8...Packing up of the counter...

26th-Century Square...Travel till my butt open...

27th-Bugis Junction...Go there kill mosquito..If there is..Zz..

28th to 31st-COMEX Fair..Suntec City...Wonder if it'd be fun... Duh..

!st and 2nd not too sure whre i'm working YET...

Probably Tampines again...Baahhh....

3rd..School Re-opens..

SIAN AH!

1 more semester to go before i can get out of school completely....

Grrr....

As much as i hated school...

I think i'd miss schooling life..

Don't get me wrong..

My schooling life as in the very seng nang life in poly...

The fun times i had in secondary school...

The laughters..The talks...The "Chalet"...

I hereby pronounce.....

I miss school..

Awww....

I know..i sound fake..And i'm talking to myself again..

Baaaaaahhhhh~

Just another day..

I am soooooo tired....

I used to think that maybe i could get use to living all alone..

But i guess i was wrong about it...

These few days my parents are not round..

And when i step into the dark and empty house..

I have this very lonely feeling inside me..

Perhaps i was wrong about having that thinking...

It should be time to re-think.. :)

*****************************

Lovelorn...Thanks for being my listening "ear" when i have these whole chunk of problems stuck to my brains and i can't tell anyone else...

As for her...I guess we are all at our wits end..Even she is having problems trying to reach a decision..

It's understandable since we've somehow been through almost the same things..

But the main problem is...Making choices...

She doesn't know how to make a choice and doesn't want to force herself to make a decision..

She doesn't think she is selfish...

To her...She needs a companion..

He's been out of the country for the past few months and that was why she found herself these life buoys..

But from what we see....She isn't just treating this guy as a life buoy..

She fell for him already..

And she's stuck in between..

One is a guy whom she thinks she can live together for the rest of her life even though their feelings have faded...

Another is a guy whom she sees their future as blurry..

That's the reason why she can't make a choice..And she did mention to me that both of the guys dotes on her...

I guess there's nothing we can do now...The rest is all up to her..

I just hope she'd get out of this thing soon...

And as for my marriage to what you called my-sai-nai-cute-bf....

STILL A LONG WAY TO GO LA!

Haha...

There's no way i'm going to wear that wedding gown unless that boy's thinking gets matured nd he had enough of fun...

Running around every weekend..

And me..

Staying home while he have fun..

Shan't force things la..

We'll see how everything goes..

Who knows.. Maybe not us...But you be the one to wear tht gown first...Hee hee hee :)

*****************************

Work work work these few days...

Grr..Tiring...

Commission soooo pathetic...

Haix...

*****************************

He should be comng over for dinner tomorrow..

If he could book out.

If not...I'd be all alone again...

:) Ciaoz..

Twisted...

Supposedly a girl's night out after slightly more thn 2 months on Friday..

Baby was SUPPOSED to be at MOS and i at Phuture..

And SUPPOSSEDLY we should be having our own fun with our own friends..

Still..

Thanks to Raine...She said she wanted to go Phuture to find Jason..

That was what Baby told me anyway..

So my lesbian night is gone...

I thought i'd meet baby when it's time to go home..

Erm..

His home that is...

But ended up the whole night..

I'm stuck at a corner with him...

I wanna grind people..

Girls to be exact..

Don feel good grinding guys..

Call me a wierdo..

But that's what i am..

Haven't really enjoyed myself since i got into this relationship..

But i'm not trying to grumble here.

Night is gone...

Had a little fun maiking fun of Raine..

Think i couldn't make myself open up since i'm such a lousy dancer..

I missed "messing" around with the girls..

Geez...

Haix..

Good and Bad for the night..

The Good...

I paid only $5..

My gf paid for the rest..

So fine...I paid just to get in...

And my baby was there...

Lots of hugs..

:)

And lots of tongue fighting to tease Raine...hee hee..

The Bad..

Didn't really have fun...

The music sucks...

Went off around 2am (Ya i know it's damn early...)

Off to his house for my sleep...

Whatever happens behind close doors..

Hee hee..

Ask me if u wanna know.. :P

Went to Tampines Mall with his family the next day for grocery..

Then went back to his house, waited for his auntie to come..

Went out for dinner at Vivo..The Imperial..

:)

Yes...I zhuan dao again...

The bill came up to about $400+

And when i heard his dad say..

My eyes widened till it nearly dropped..

And his dad saw it..

Sorry ah uncle..

I not trying to be so kua zhang la..

But i'm brought up eating zi char with bills coming at most to about less than $100?

And with my whole family...

IE..My bro and their wives..

11 people less than $100..

8 people $400+

See the diff?

Rich oso cannot lidat hua qian ma..

Haix..

As much as i know they are willing to pay more to get good food..

I saw abalone and sharks fin..

But i didn't order that...

All i asked for was some kind of soup with cooling effects..

Yes yes..

I'm stupid..

I should have asked for sharks fin..

I don't mind drinking canned sharks fin

I won't even order sharks fin when i'm with my own faily..

So, why would i order that when i'm with my boy's family..

Seriously don't want people to think that i'm with this guy cause his family is rich...

I know his dad is rich has nothing to do with him..

He's pretty broke actually..

Not a spoilt brat which i am half happy..

The reason why i am not happy is he's more than willing to spend..

Even though he's salary is only $500 a month..

And he would end up not having enough money to last for the rest of the month..

Anyway..

Went back home after dinner..

The whole house is empty..

My lao peh bu will only come back on Wednesday..

And baby is booking in tonight..

And he's like still sleeping at home at this time..

That's for reaching home only around 5am in the morning..

Haix...

Work tml and tuesday...

And possibly 8 days without having anything to do...

28th to 31st Comex Fair..

Thanks to Daniel for that lobang.. :)

And school's starting again on the 3rd of September.....

SIAN AH!!!!!!!

Last semester before i can graduate..

I lun..i lun..i lun lun lun...

Grrr...

I hope time pasts fast fast...

Faster graduate..

Faster find job..

伍家辉 - 虽然我愿意

伍家辉 - 虽然我愿意

请让我靠近你轻轻对你说

别让我每个夜为你受折磨

是多么不容易才默默放手

为了我就当作这次为了我

别让我因为你被回忆折磨

而空气凝结了我们的脸孔

我别无选择

就算我们之间有什么问题

依然想念着你

虽然被放弃

虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题

黑夜我还想着你

心碎人孤寂

虽然我愿意

再让我靠近你轻轻对你说

当我说我要你从此好好过

是真的否则我怎么肯放手

为了我就当作这次为了我

赐给我你现在幸福的笑容

别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔

请你做选择

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意(心还想着你)

I'm so so so in need of a job....

Sian ah!!!!

Zo lang pai mia ah.. (*It's hard being a human...)

Bo gang zo sian.. (*No job sian..)

Bo gang lui nia ko ka sian...(*No salary to get more sian)

Haix...

Pardon me..

Not trying to be like some woman complining at the coffee shop using hokkien..

But really sibeh the sian..

Grr...

Confirmed with Janice that the counters are closing down this 20th...

And YET..She never inform us..AT ALL!!!

Till i sked..

Knn..

Hello..

I'm supporting myself..

I need money..

Howthe fuck can some company be so selfish and plan to tell the employees that we are given the sack so last minute..

Kana sai...

And i'm haveing my holidays...

Brrrrr....

Thought i could at least go JTC work..

At least i still have income..

Kana sai

End up too late...

And she still dare to bring it up tt they need temp staff..

Thanks for the help ah..

Next time check properly den say can..

Wad am i to do this holiday...

I fucking need money can..

I go collect cardboard la...

Kns...

Grr...

Going Phuture again tml with the same bunch of people..

Yes...It's boring...

I know...

Baby going MOS and i going Phuture..

For the first time we have our own entertainment for the night..

I just hope he'll just trust me..

gosh..

the whole world knows i won't be an unfaithful partner can...

But no worries...

No other guy can try to fuck me except u..Baby..

Oops...

Getting vulgar again...

But at least i dare say i don't sleep around..

Don care so much la..

Just try to enjoy my night tml and not think of anything...

Grrr....

Blabber blabber...

Just as i expected...

He's out again..

Called me before he went out to ask for permission to ride his bike...

Permission granted...

But am not allowed to speed nor drink too much...

Only one drink allowed....

Still..

Disappointed...

Dared to tell me that he and his friend rode at 160..

He said a car was near..

So..

Fine...not his fault..

I just hope he would keep to his promise to drink only 1..

HAIX....

Tml going to the hospital alone...

Expected..

Wonder if i want to go to his house after that...

Sian ah....

Parents going to Malaysia this weekend..

Friday my bro coming over to fetch them...

Coming back only next Wednesday or Thursday...

The reason i didn't go....

My sis-in-law's mother is going...

And i don't like it....Haiz....

Holiday~~~

My 3 weeks holiday have officially started...

Am i suppose to celebrate or something?

This is like the last holiday i'd be having as a student....

Hmmm...

But that isn't a bad thing though..

The worse thing is i'm losing my job...soon..

Since i heard the Sugar Baby counter at Bishan is closing down..

And possibly even the counter at Bugis is also closing down...

Expected though since the sales sucks...

Heard Bio-essence is taking over the area on the 20th of this month..

And yet.

My manager never even breath a word about it to us...

She could have left the schedule for the counters from the 20th empty...

But she still planned..

And worse i've got like 3 days at Bishan and that would mean i'd be losing.. $156 nett...

Duh.....

******************************

Completed the cross stitch meant for my baby..

Don't laugh..

I may appear rough but i'm still a girl after all.. :)

The problems that have arised before...

I shall forget about them..

At least for now...

And i hope i could..

Life has to carry on isn't it?

I'll just leave it to fate then..

What's meant to be,will be..

I'll just do what i should and can do..

Not do anything against my own conscience and that'd be good enough for me...

If fate wants to make a fool out of me..

Then so be it...

******************************

The end product....

Not very nice la..

But at least i can do it..

Hee hee...

I'm done with it and the whether he wants to throw it one side or hang it, it's up to him...

I just hope this piece wouldn't end up in the dust bin or worse..

In some other girl's house...

******************************

The supposed promise....

Promises are meant to be broken..

Aren't they?

******************************

Wonder if i'm meeting him today...

He's boooking out tonight and applied leave for Thursday and Friday..

Wonder if he'd be going out again tonight...

Wonder if he'd get drunk again..

Wonder if he'd be accompanying me on Thursday to the hospital..

I wonder...

******************************

Unsecured...

As much as i try to go to sleep now..

I simply can't...

The reason?

Simple..

Him..

I fucking unsecure and i hate this stupid feeling i'm having now..

I doesn't help that i don't think he even realises how insecure his gf is...

And how crazy his gf actually is...

I think he'd freak out when he realises..

Yes yes..

I'm eccentric..

I know..

Everyone knows

How crazy can my thinking go?

I have no idea...

As much as i know...

My mind is full of nothing but rubbish....

Had been crapping the whole nite with Mr J...

Another Mr J...

Not my boy..

As my boy is sleeping..

I seriously felt like a bithch

Although i meant to be only joking around..

And Mr J doesn't mind..

So...Ya...

I asked myself...

When was the last time i laughed so wildly..

The answer...

When he and i were watching KungFu Panda alone...

And tht was before we got together...

I just want to be happy..

Is it tht hard?

All i ever wanted was a guy i could totally trust and rely on...

Doubt i'd be able to sleep well tonight...

Might as well then...

Shall continue watching my Californication...

Erase him off my mind...

At least for the next few hours till i feel sleepy...

Ciao...

FYP..GONE~~~

I'm a goner...

My FYP was like SHIT...

I never really say much..

Thnks to someone who keep snatching words to say...

Thanks to Edwin for trying to find chances for me to speak..

Unfortunately..

I'm still too slow..

Have that dickless fucker got any brains or not..

Didn't he realise that he isn't being fair to the rest of us for keep snatching the words...

Even his best friend was pissed off with him..

Don't he even relise that one bad comment about one member could pull the whole grade down???

Grrr..

Fucking Pissed...

Met up wih Yuxin for dinner last night...

Ate PastaMania and walked around and chatted abit..

When was the last time we actually sat down for a chat...

I really miss the days when we are still in secondary school and we can sit around and make fun of each other and talk like thre's no tomorrow with the rest of the girls...

Haix...

But we have to move on..

Huiwen is going on with the uniform fitting and management round for silkair crew..

I hope she gets through..

Hopefully even though she has asthma...

The pay is really very..

Attractive..

But Yx sid i'm really not suitable for the job..

Oh well..

What she said is quite true..

There goes another choice...

Went to Phuture with Him and the girls...

Spent th whole night with him actually more than the girls..

Saw his friends..

One freaking drunk the other fucking high...

The guy vomited like shit and the girl..

Talking nonsense....

Stayed over at his house that night...

what we did in his room are not important... :P

woke up the next day around 12+ to go for our lunch..

then movie..

Money no enough 2...

Goldclass at Vivo..

Freaking ex...$30 per person

And his parents like paid for 5?...

Thaat means $150...

for a movie..

Is tht what the rich always do?

I wonder..

Had dinner at Ah Yat Seafood restaurant...

The bill... $400+...

KAO....

What can i say..

His dad spent money like water..

And the mount spent on that day alone is wht i can earn a month after slogging and sacrificing my weekends for work....

Duh...

If only i can have that kind of money..

Haix.....

Meeting him at his place at 6 for dinner tonight...

Shall catch some nap before leving for his house...

Ciaoz...

*i don wann be emo anymore..i wan to get out of the shell...move on w/o him if necessary... i need an excuse to get out...i need a breather..i just wan to be happy..is it that hard?

I'm a nut case...

Going crazy again anytime soon..

My mind is like running wild again..

I don't get it..

Is he really that attractive?

Why do i always hear that this girl likes him and that girl likes him too..

Yes..yes..

I'm behaving like a vinegar vat again now..

But can't blame me..

I wasn't even attracted to him the first time i saw him..

I didn't even really fall for him when we started..

The feelings were developed gradually after being together..

Till now..

Though not very long.

Hope he doesn't get eaten up the coming friday...

With 2,3 girls who like him around him..

Duh..

Can't let my heart stay calm..

Yes yes..

They r cute..they are pretty..

then why choose the freaking-average looking me?

Just because i'm the odd one out among all ur girl-friends?

goodness...

r u hinting that i should go for plastic surgery then?

grrrr.....

I HATE PMS-ING!!!

I broke down again..

In school..

Hadn't want to let it flow till darling gave me a hug..

And i cannot hold back anymore...

I just wanted to let everything out....

But i didn't cry like someone died though.

Broke down very silently...

Thanks darling for being there when i needed someone..

Boy's coming over for dinner tml since my niece and nephew are staying over...

For the sake of my niece he's coming to my house..

Do u like me or my niece?

Or are u thinking of having your own kid so much that u laid ur eyes on my sweetie..

Boy's mum booked to watch Money no Enough 2 on Sunday...

With her and Jolene and the 2 of us..

The good...

Free movie...

The bad...

Gooseberries...and my freaking bad mood...

Should be round 3+ on sunday..

I've got like most of my Sunday's not occupied this August...

Should i just put the rest of the sundys back to work?

I seriously need money..

I haven't paid bck my bro..

And with a boyfriend who sees money like water...

The more i should work hrder..

To save money for myself without him knowing..

I tired to..

But failed..

Can't bear to see him go hungry..

That's me..

Too soft hearted..

I should really hardened abit..

Girls should have their own private savings..

Guys nowadays may not even earn enough to support themselves so..

yea..

not trying to say all guys are like that..

But that's the real life situation now..

better to be safe than sorry..

Am stitching something for him...

But depending on my mood..

I might or might not give it to him.

He know's about this thing but i wouldn't show him the picture..

Depending on how he fares..

Make me angry..

*Snip..

There goes my hardwork and into the rubish bin..

Yes..

I am that guai lan...

That's like my nickname already since young....

haven't eaten anything since i left school after presenting...

never even stay for UT..

Stomach is growling but i simply don't feel like eating...

I HATE PMS-ING!!!

Am PMS-ing all alone at the pantry now...

Feel that the class is too noisy and needed a quieter space...

Am so vexed and seriously need some accompany at this time..

He agreed to pick me up after school but now..

Haix...

I'm not trying to show attitude but i really have no mood to even type in "haha" into the msgs...

I'm sorry for that..

But shouldn't u even understand how much i needed someone by my side now..

I wun grumble if i'm single now...

But i'm like attached and my bf is free..

For his sake i left out 2 of my working days to be with him..

And hardly ever only this once...

I'm running off right after presentation and not even staying for my UT..

We had wanted to watch movie later but i said i had stomach cramps...

All u said was then u just go home after this and i can go home too..

Hello...i like can only meet u like how many times a week...

And won't u even spend some time trying to coax ur pms-ing gf to mke her feel better?

All i ever need is hug and a few comforting words and that's all..

don't tell me u can't do it..

or can't even think of it...

Tml my work ends at 6..

I tot i could have u for the rest of the night and sunday...

Only to have u telling me that u r going out after that...

Friends jio u, u MUST go out meh?

Just because they never pang seh u before doesn't mean u have to oblige to them every time..

What is this?

I never stopped u from going out with your friends..

I don even mind u going clubbing with them without me with all the temptations around u..

But EVERY WEEK...

This is like driving me nuts....

I just want a very simple relationship..

I dig out my time for u..

Y can't u do the same?

I'm feeling freakng down now...

and i hate this.

i wann go home and sleep till there's no tomorrow....

Can i?