October 19th 2006...

Sometimes i'm just so sick of school. Maybe it's not even the school's problem but my own problem. Really don't feel like studying anymore since i go to school realizing i don't learn anything, even if i do, i'll forget everything at the end of the day. But really can't stop schooling now..My brother will hit the roof and i think my mum will disown me... Wat can i do? The world is changing and the standard of living is getting higher and higher especially in Singapore...So sian la...Everytime i think of that, i'll wonder...The number of Uni grads are going up, meaning there'll be a whole lot of degree holders. If that's so, what would a Diploma help? Perhps i should consider slogging for like dono how many years, earn enough money and just migrate..But migrating should cost more ba..Sian ar... The road to the future is ambiguous...<br>
Sometimes when i can't sleep at night, i cn't help but wonder...What if i can't wake up the next morning?What if (touchwood) i lose someone the very moment i open my eyes the next morning? Don't blame me for thinking so much..All along i'm like that...Keep thinking of these kind of things...Tried to make myself more positive..but..as u see..I failed...I just wonder when can i ever stop taking the medication...Seriously i think by the time i can completely don't take the medicine, my immune system will be like..SHIT....I'll just lie on my bed..or rather mattress and think....What if my immune system gets worse..What if i can't give birth in future...What if i can't even live till THAT future.....So many "What ifs"..But who can give me an answer? God? Maybe..Doctor?Maybe not... SOmetimes i just feel that these people in whte robes are redundant...Especially to people like me suffering from chronic diseases... Medication to us is from troublesome to part of our life...Who ould love to take medication for the rest of their lives? I just hope some nice doctor could put me off medication...But at times, i'm just so sick and tired of taking medication that ijust refuse to take t lest it continue spoiling my immune system...

I should consider myself fortunate i think..Shouldn't be grumbling in my own blog...But what can i do except ramble here?Ah min will say.."Everytime ask u to update, u say lazy...now u r saying this"..Ha ha...I just need a space to squeeze myself in...People around me are always busy with their own things..Friends...Secondary school friends, in the same poly, have their own friends...Ex-classmates from the previous class have new BFFs...Can't be always looking for them...Can only blame myself for being too anti-social...

Saw and heard Ah Min's "story" about she and "he" going out...Ah Min ar...I can't stop you from liking anyone...I know you can think for yourself...But i don't wish to see anyone around me getting hurt because of relationships...Can tell that you still like him..People changes....What he did 2 years ago to another girl does not mean that he will do it again...But bear in mind, it does not mean that he will not do it again either... Girls tend to "kou shi xin fei"..I'm also like that...I may say that i don't care about him anymore...But deep inside me..I know i still miss him...Like what i told u...He can be a friend but not a bf..to me..that's beause i have never fallen for him..But you're different...It's ok to remain as friends and if you think you really want to clear your doubts, you should ask...Although i said i regretted asking him and clearing my doubts, it is a way to give you a clearer vision...It actually shows you a clearer route in front of you..Of course it needs a lot of courage...But no matter what, i'll support your decision.. :)

#```la la la~

I'm so bored in class... Today really totally didn't do anything other thanhelping in the worksheet..through the help of fredolution... Damn moodless today la...Other den that i don't think i help in anyway la...Geez...Macham self-evaluation lidat...But heck la..even if i try to think, nothing comes out...Heck la...don bother..anyway already done with the presentation...now just passing time...

Yst went to the so called interview at Tiong Bahru... And i really wan to beat up Sai....From th very moment we leve the office until we part ways and until today...he still continues his "Winx Club"....Irritating man....But anyway..thanks to ah min...den i can find another rice bowl... :) Thousand muackies to ya~

My aboji is suffering from slight depression..hope it doesn't get worse..and hope i wun get it...These few weeks have been looking for a job until i get so irritated and frustrated with myself...How i wish money can just drop from the sky and i wun need to worry so much....Sick and tired....

Going home wib Ah min later...This sick chicken sick again le...Rest well wor...And gt chance go K again leh...Until now we haven go with Tong they all... :)

duh~~

I better blog before ah min start to nag at me again..Hee...School has been erm...Normal?!...As usual..Everyday's routine is the same...And erm...I'm losing my rice bowl soon....haix...shit man....Without a job how am i going to survive...Better keep looking for one before i starve....

Geez...How i miss King Kong...Haiz....Sent a letter to Seoul to Karen and hope she'll pass it to him..Or rather..th letter will even reach Seoul.. Rah...Life has been so KOREAN....God...Ever since i came back from Korea, i have been like watching Korean Drama everyday and even when i went to work...I see Koreans and the only missing child reported by the information counter is a Korean kid..And best...Jia Ling..My colleague is like flying off to Korea the next day at 1am...Gosh..Rah~~...And my "good" neighbour just returned from Korea also a few days ago... I didn't know until i saw dat auntie carrying a luggage and a carton full of Hangul...Rah~~so angry...Really don't understand what is wrong with me...I just keep hoping that i could just stay there and not come back...I wanna learn the language.but now...i'm broke....rah~~~who can sponsor me?....I write those Hangul without even knowing what i'm writing la...

N.Korea tested the nuclear weapon against the wills of the UN huh..or something like dat?..hmm... No comments...Not supposed to comment either...Anyway... In case "some goondo" don't know and start saying i want b**mb the US just because i use the S.Korean flag as my disply pic in msn, i better make it clear.... The flag i use as dp is SOUTH Korean flag NOT NORTH Korean flag.... And i don't think N.Korea is going to b**mb the US la...Geddit goondo?? Ok...No blogging about politics...Lest i get into unneccessary trouble with the law...

Back to whatever.....I MISS O BAK~~~