.+.Ie mIz eU.+.

I'm so damn bored...haiz...nv hear from him the whole day...gettin into a deeper shit everyday...haiz...when i don c him,i miz him...when i c him..can't tok to him...can't realli grab hold of myself...can't realli think properly... mayb i realli shldn't hab fallen 4 him..wad if he turns out to b foolin ard...wad if lyk xin says...he's married?. haiz....even worse..wib kids...haiz... I realli wan to ask him wad he is thinkin...wad am i to him? Juz a little sister...a friend....a colleague...a "daughter"??? haiz...seems lyk he is the onli one who noes the ans... Gt a lot of scares from frens....Xin told me he may b hidin alot of things from me... Qi told me a fren of hers said he's a flirt...gt gf summore...I wonder if he realli did tell me the truth...He don nid to lie abt anything i suppose..But he once told me he live in Woodlands but end up tellin me he actualli live beside woodlands...[In other words...JB...] Auntie said he may wan "dat thing".... and even said if 1 day i realli gave it to him,gip her a choc to let her noe...and i went..OMG!...Y do i feel dat i'm a little "easy" when i'm wib him?? Very unlike me... I'm told dat when guys kiss n lick a girl's neck...it means they wan it...dono whether true anot...But seems lyk i hab no strong feelings....juz a little but not strong... Auntie says i'm abnormal?... Am i? hmm...Veli scared...haiz.....

.+.Me & U.+.

was chattin to kat and lao jie juz now...now den i realise how much i miz my other frens hu graduated frm sec sch and those frens i made during my taka talking hall X'mas fair days...

kinda miz him now...he shld b on his way to KL...will onli b back on monday...
Was very blur last nite....haiz..Can't imagine wad might hav happened if i didn't siam his lips.... i don mind him huggin me...but wad was he trying to do? smellin n bitin my hair...rubbing his cheeks against mine...bitin my cheeks....n tryin to kiss me...wonder wad is he up to.... wad a "papa" i hab...juz b4 goin hm...he hugged me so tight till i nearly suffocated...haiz.... I shldn't hab fallen for him... He's a Malaysian...9yrs my senior and my superior.... wad was i doing at dat time...y did i allow him to do dat?...Izit b/c i lyk him dat gave him the chance to do dat? haiz....
Even after my bath i can still smell his perfume on my arms...haiz...can't realli slp last nite as i was thinkin abt it....Am i too easy?hmm... totaly confused.... Maybe he's a grown man and hab his needs...I shld b happy he din do anything worse then those...
Realli feel lyk askin him wad he was thinkin...and hu am i to him... i can do nth but pray dat he's realli sincere.....I don wish fer anything "bad" to happen btw us..
Anyway...was damn tired....Thursday woke up and was nearly late...after sch chiong home den chiong back to taka to work...Friday oso lidat..haiz...Today slept till 1 den wake up...Tml hab to work again...But he's not ard...haiz...Will keep thinkin of him ba i think...haiz...Go off to bad le....