sometimes i really feel that it's better to b drunk...haben been sleeping well these days... juz finished one whole bottle of liquor....tink is i finish too fast so my face damn red.....now really feel like sleeping.... sometimes i wonder if i made the right decision about him.... i really feel hard to understand and trust him....he refuse to open up.....to him..it's no point explaining things....i really wonder juz wad am i to him....do i even hab a place in his heart.... shldn't he even try to explain things to me....i don expect much from him..i don even expect him to b by my side.... if he really treat me as his gf, shldn't he even say some things to let me feel assured.....let me hab he security dat i nid..... don't he even know dat no matter wad...i'm still a girl....i also nid someone to love and pamper at times..is dat even so hard for him..... all he tell me whenever we r on the fone is study hard....don't think so much.....long-dist calls are ex......juz wad is wrong?????All i nid is a guy hu likes me and i like for wad we both r.....all i nid is a companion........ he keep telling me dat we hab a gap...true enuf we do...i'm trying to mend the gap by trying to undrstand him.....i really is tryin...but wad abt him..i'm really tired.....can i juz let go and not tink abt such things anymore.........can i go on with my life w/o a guy.......can i juz continue wib a life of onli working and w/o relationships..can i................. i'm really lost..the whole world is askin me to ditch him.... but it's really not easy.... if it were dat easy i wld hab already let go....will i still wait till now... think i'm realy drunk le.......i really nid a break.....i nid a gd nite's slp......
i'm tired.................................................
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