High degree....

Had been a "missy" for the past few days...

Cause baby was down on fever...on and off...

nearly scared me to death when his temperature went up to 39.3...

His mum just sent him to the doctor gain and he told me he felt better after a jab..

Hopefully my baby could be active again real soon...

Hurts me to see him like that...

I know i know..

I sound like a mum..

But that's normal isn't it?

Damn tired can..

For the first time...

I freaking dozed off on the mrt on the way to school this morning..

And i nearly missed a stop...

Zz...

I am THAT tired..

Though i didn't attend school...

Haiz..

Had "free" snacks today thanks to Daniel...

Thanks to him refusing to take the money and wanting to treat us...

Heng we never really buy much..

I bought the most things and i feel bad not returning him...

Eh uncle..

I know u meant well...

Being gentlemanly...But hor...

earning money not easy leh...

Ya la..i know..

I say lidat but i keep spending money...

Dono y..

The more u make...the more u spend...

That's life...

Just bought a nude-bra from AMK...

$19.90..

Sticky sia..

But heng it comes with a strap...

finally for once i could wear my tubes without the straps..

If not damn fugly...

I've got a feeling i'll be the one down with fever next..

After baby..

Yesterday..(10th September)

was supposed to be our 3rd month aniversary..

Yes...I know...no big deal...

We spent the whole day together...

Starting from Tan Tock Seng..

Where he had his appointment for his hand fracture..

Then back to his house..

For him to rest...

He didn't eat much an really...

His body turned red when his temperature suddenly rises....

I felt damn helpless..

And damn useless...

Could do nothing but watch him suffer..

When he slept i was outside watching TV....

Either that or i slept with him..

Stayed on till his parents came back..

Had dinner...

Coached his sistera little...

And he gave me money to take cab home...

And that's how we spent our anniversary..

What a way to spend our anniversary together...

Nevermind...

3rd month gone..

But still got the 100days one..

sounds like some funeral kind of thingy but got ppl celebrate too wad..

hopefully i won't be the one falling sick...

A chat with Aloy really helped..
After all he is Baby's cousin and they have strong brotherly ties..
He's a nice guy actually..
Although he admits he's one who can't commit unlike baby..
But at least his thinking is mature enough..
As compared to baby...
Not trying to compare the two cousins...

At least i have someone whom i can talk to about baby since they grew up tgt and knew each other inside out..
At least i have someone whom can pass a message through to baby if he simply won't get what i told him into his head...
Someone to "share" my burden...
He assured me that Baby is a good guy...
I know he is...
It's the ladies around that are getting scarier....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gotta sleep already...
Meeting baby for his doctor appointment tml morning...
My troubles to be set aside for now...
Just hope things wouldn't be that complicated...
Hope she wouldn't hurt him....

She's at it again...

Didn't go home..AGAIN..

Spent the night out with baby's cousin..

What is this..

Just when she ended on fling..

She got onto another..

And i know this guy...

If it's bb's friend maybe i can still take it..

his cousin...

for goodness sake..

Bb was furious..

Dare not even look at him when he vented his anger the wall..

Felt so bad..

Shouldn't have asked her out the night before..

She slept with us at Bb's room..

She on the bed and we on the floor...

If i wasn't working i'd still be alright with them being alone..

But i was working...

Fucking no mood to work the whole day...

I should trust both of them..

I trust Bb more than i trust her..

Though i know her longer..

But given her character..

I don't know..

Something might or might not have happened between them..

I don't know..

I don't want to think...

Told Baby why i was so angry last night..

And he promised not to offer to put any other girl up..

Even if it's my best friend..

When i would not be around with them...

She came along again last night with us when Baby and i met up with his cousins again...

She was SUPPOSED to go home..

Was too tired to stay on when bb said to go home..

I trusted his cousin wouldn't do anything funny

And i entrusted him with the task to see her home..

Only to receive a call from Aloy to ask for her number..

And when she called and told me she didn't go home again..

And they are not at his house and isn't too sure where they are either.

I nearly fainted..

Could you PLEASE LOVE URSELF?

I din expect you to just sleep with a guy u met only twice...

And hello..

you have a boyfriend...

How could i ever face him again if he were to find out..

If he wouldn't find out i'd still have a serious problem trying to face him...

And the guy u slept with..

How am i to face him too.....

It was all my fault..

I couldn't even really face baby...

Shouldn't have asked her out..

And if i didn't..

These problems wouldn't be there..

Reached home at 1+ in the morning to find dad's room light still on..

He's lying on the bed and he said he isn't feeling well when i went to him...

What kind of a daughter would make her dad..

especially when age is catching up with him..

Wait for her to come home when he's not feeling well and need more rest...

I couldn't take it anymore..

I surpressed myself these 2 days..

And after these things happen...

My tears just came down without warning...

I'm a sinner..

I feel usesless....

It's said that everyone is alive for a reason..

What's mine then?

Why am i even living on this earth...

Why?

He's out again...Without me..As usual...

:'(

**********************************

School's starting tml...

HAix...

Be counting down on the days it finishes....

i want it to be done fast....

***********************************

Don't feel like talking...

Or typing anymore for now...

Bye..

I am sooo....TIRED!

work work work work...

But good also...

Better i keep spending..

BUT...

now i'm contradicting..

I just got my very very pathetic pay of a hundred over dollars..

And now..

I'm online shopping...

I ordered....

This

This...

This......

And This......

Safer tops...

Won't have him nagging at me again just because he don't like other guys to look at me..

Please la..

Not as if your gf is very pretty..

I'm a woman after all..

Got guys look at very normal wad..

Haix...

Looks like my spags can only be worn below those cardigans...

Duh.......

Oh oh oh....

And..

I want this...

Hee hee hee....

Nice fragrance...

But i no money... :(

****************************************************************

More work tml and tuesday..

And school is reopening..

There goes my holiday...

Wed or Thursstart school..

Friday,saturday and sunday working AGAIN..

Thanks to the promotion going on...

Could be staying over at Bb's house next weekend since his parents are not at home..

And since his house is nearere to Tampines...

Save my time..

Haha..

Work and get to be with my bf still..

Else he'd be complaining again...

Haven't seen him for nearly one week...

I miss his Italy again..

Duh...

Tml...

Tampines..

Sian sia!!!!!!!

Better have sales tml..

Duh....

$0 on friday...

$0 today...

If $0 again tml..

I think i gone case..

Zz....

Sleeping time!!!!