I'm back...

Finally back to blogging....Been ard 1 mth plus after sch re-open le...sch hav bee ok but i still can't quite adapt to the system...still the same old loner dt i had always been...am i very hard to get long???or is it the fact dat i hab tis "stinky" face dat scares ppl away...dono la.....and i haben seen him for lyk...3mths....miz him alot....thanx to yin min....she fa hua chi den pass it to me..end up i oso fa...he shld be coming back these few days and hopefully will get to see him...Bought him 2 pair of thongs for his birthday....but kinda regret getting them...the cloth covering his "manhood" is erm..orange and the back has only one elastic band covering...to tink of it the colour is quite disgusting..but it's something new ba...usual price was $19.90 but after discount was $15 plus...hopefully i can grow to trust him over some time...I don wish to carry on lidat w/o much trust for him....although he did ask me to not consider him if i were to find a guy who treats me better,i can't seem to set my eyes on any other guy...how i wish i could let him know how i actually feel but seems impossible...i don dare to say anything for fear that he will flare up...since it's a known fact that he has a bad temper...hope that e will rmb to look for me when he comes back...quite long nv contact..wonder if he's all well....feel lyk calling him but scared dat i'll disturb him...haiz....
Waiting for my bro to buy hm our dinner...dono where he go buy....he called and say that he'll be late for an hr...wonder if he go JB buy dat Nasi Lemak....haiz....Dying of hunger...I NEED MY FOOD!!!!

||Notz||

Givin up is an option,
Not a must...
Regret is a may not,
Not a must not...
Meetin sum1 is fate,
Not destiny...
Fallin fer sum1 is natural,
Not man-made...
```````````````````````````````````
Y is it dat human hab to go thru relationships?And y is it dat none of mine end up the way i had wished it to?I'm beginnin to lose confidence in such things though i fall fer 1 easily...haiz....dono wad to say la...
Exam cummin le..still can't study....HAIZ~~~ So frustrated ar~~~~~

.+.NeW mTh's ResOlUtIoN.+.

haiz...hab been lyka "hua chi" for the past few mths...finally hab a decision le... rather den sinkin deeper in to dat shit...decided to cum out le...to GIVE UP! haiz... wonder how long i'll take to cum out of this stupid mess i've made... wonderin y i made this choice?? I'm nt sure if i made the right choice to gip up..but i'm sure if i don get out now..i'll go boonkers sooner or later~ If a person hab u in his or her heart,he or she will surely make the effort to at least contact u no matter how bz he or she is..rite? 1wk plus..nt even a msg..wth man... make me feel lyk an idiot..make me feel lyk a puppet bein toyed wib...damn sian lo...dono izit my life is lidat or by pure coin cidence dat all guys i mit r lidat... i'm kinda used to b toyed by guys but i juz can't let go easily...mayb it's my stupid prob ba...i fall fer sum1 easily but i can't realli let go...Sian ar... Gd thing is i wun c him for the next 2 wks since i'm not workin... but juz how long will i take to heal my wound this time round... seems lyk i always nid 2 yrs to totaly heal~haiz...is fate toyin me oso?... haiz... chou nan ren...seems lyk wadever he had done..cnt b undone le...gd thing is dat at least there is a limit to wad he does..if nt..haiz...
Anyway..dat stupid,idiotic,stinking,act cute buay cute,sickening,pinkyman..Boris called me juz now...wtf sia...ask me whether i can work today anot...siao eh...tink i superwoman ar..no nid do hmwork de ar...he use dat..e e e e...sissy voice of his n "sai nai,sai nai" so er xin!!! yucks..thinkin of dat voice make me wan to vomit out my dinner out~my chicken wing!!! omGosh! Yuckie man~juz can't stand him... Wonder y Auntie Wendy say he handsome leh~~~ Mayb generation gap ba..but no nid so BIG gap ba?! haiz..wdever la...nth to type le la....

.+.Ie mIz eU.+.

I'm so damn bored...haiz...nv hear from him the whole day...gettin into a deeper shit everyday...haiz...when i don c him,i miz him...when i c him..can't tok to him...can't realli grab hold of myself...can't realli think properly... mayb i realli shldn't hab fallen 4 him..wad if he turns out to b foolin ard...wad if lyk xin says...he's married?. haiz....even worse..wib kids...haiz... I realli wan to ask him wad he is thinkin...wad am i to him? Juz a little sister...a friend....a colleague...a "daughter"??? haiz...seems lyk he is the onli one who noes the ans... Gt a lot of scares from frens....Xin told me he may b hidin alot of things from me... Qi told me a fren of hers said he's a flirt...gt gf summore...I wonder if he realli did tell me the truth...He don nid to lie abt anything i suppose..But he once told me he live in Woodlands but end up tellin me he actualli live beside woodlands...[In other words...JB...] Auntie said he may wan "dat thing".... and even said if 1 day i realli gave it to him,gip her a choc to let her noe...and i went..OMG!...Y do i feel dat i'm a little "easy" when i'm wib him?? Very unlike me... I'm told dat when guys kiss n lick a girl's neck...it means they wan it...dono whether true anot...But seems lyk i hab no strong feelings....juz a little but not strong... Auntie says i'm abnormal?... Am i? hmm...Veli scared...haiz.....

.+.Me & U.+.

was chattin to kat and lao jie juz now...now den i realise how much i miz my other frens hu graduated frm sec sch and those frens i made during my taka talking hall X'mas fair days...

kinda miz him now...he shld b on his way to KL...will onli b back on monday...
Was very blur last nite....haiz..Can't imagine wad might hav happened if i didn't siam his lips.... i don mind him huggin me...but wad was he trying to do? smellin n bitin my hair...rubbing his cheeks against mine...bitin my cheeks....n tryin to kiss me...wonder wad is he up to.... wad a "papa" i hab...juz b4 goin hm...he hugged me so tight till i nearly suffocated...haiz.... I shldn't hab fallen for him... He's a Malaysian...9yrs my senior and my superior.... wad was i doing at dat time...y did i allow him to do dat?...Izit b/c i lyk him dat gave him the chance to do dat? haiz....
Even after my bath i can still smell his perfume on my arms...haiz...can't realli slp last nite as i was thinkin abt it....Am i too easy?hmm... totaly confused.... Maybe he's a grown man and hab his needs...I shld b happy he din do anything worse then those...
Realli feel lyk askin him wad he was thinkin...and hu am i to him... i can do nth but pray dat he's realli sincere.....I don wish fer anything "bad" to happen btw us..
Anyway...was damn tired....Thursday woke up and was nearly late...after sch chiong home den chiong back to taka to work...Friday oso lidat..haiz...Today slept till 1 den wake up...Tml hab to work again...But he's not ard...haiz...Will keep thinkin of him ba i think...haiz...Go off to bad le....