If someone were to ask me this question.."One word that best decribes you..."... I think the answer should be "PATHETIC".... For someone who fails at relationships, BGR...Friends..Or even Family...what other words can best describe me??? Failed relationships aside...... Family reltionships...Sometimes i really can't help but wonder....Am i even wanted in this family..... Why do i feel so extra no matter how hard i try to fit into the family....I try to sit down and listen and give my opinions during family talks..But whenever i start talking, i either get shot at or silent responses.....Of course there are times where i do get proper responses..but how many among all the responses that i got re like that....How pathetic can one be..... Like me??.... Trying to fit into the class seems to be another problem.... I don't think much people will realise that i am actully around just because i did not make much noise the entire day...just becaue i can't talk too much thanks to my flu and cough.....Maybe i'm more suitble to be loner.... I do have friends....but how many among my friends actually bother about me when they are with other friends...the answer..none... i'm not trying to complain.....i just need a place to pin down what i am thinkng of deep inside me.... Pin them down just before i go crazy burying all these things in my hert and bring them down to the grave with me..... I suppose i'm born a loner....bred a loner...and will die a loner.....


I sometimes just really can't work it out..Why does heaven mke a sport out of me everytime.....sick and tired of reltionships.....I don't understand why the curent one is like that....I tried calling him last night and didn't get through....And then i recieve a msg frm him just before i go to bed.... But why is it that the more i look at his msgs, the more uneasy i feel??.... I had a hard time trying to force myself to cry on my bed...... I have to relieve myself..and i still feel like crying now...but i'm in school.......the no-no plce for me to cry at... Why is it that whenever it's near to the end of the month, i can't find you...Why re you making empty promises.... I'm still girl no mtter wad....Of corz i nid to feel loved... I did not ask for your commitment...I did not ask for you to be alwys by my side...I just want a little of your concern and love and only a little of your time..What's so hard about that???...I'm really tired....tired of life.. tired of everything..................................












...TIRED...