~*~Reflections of a future old virgin....~*~

Die an old virgin... Wow...hmm....Don't ask me why i thought of this title.Juz thought of it and that's it....Ok..i'm out of my mind...Frustrated today....When Sai called me a "Malaysian" i juz couldn't be bothered until later and next when he said something until it's like my fault that HE can't get his cafe food when that idiot librarian said..no food in the library..I said..Fine..ok....my fault..Den i go back la....But end up i din... But the damn library..No food and drinks....Den what for put a stupid dumb dumb cafe inside the library....Aren't those things called FOOD??!! Stupid school with stupid structure and stupid system..... Really no motivation to go to that woodlands IMH~~~ Note..IMH stands for Institute of Mental Health..juz in case some goodo can't figure out what is it....
Back to school.....Wilson dono is PMS or what..so unlike himself today... But what irritates me is that he came over and kick my chair and scolded vulgarities at me for nothing la... FARKER!!! Idiot la...I din even provoke him la...

so sian..dono to go or not tml...but got UT...sian....

Attention Brian Lim Keng Tong(as if he'll see)..... I feel damn not loved la..... U don't even show a very normal concern to me la... I think you'll be either the last or may not even know if something serious were to happen to me.....Including Death.......

I'm not thinking of suicide..don worry.... I'm not so idiotic to die juz because of a man....Obviously, it's not worth it....It's not worth to die over any guy.... I may die for my dad or my brothers bt definitly not for a guy....unless i'm stressed out by other things....

I sometimes wonder... Are all the things in our life predestinated or can we change our fate with our own hands??? Sometimes i feel that some things are fated to be....And sometimes, things can go the other way round if we were to try to change it...I sometimes can't help but wonder...Is me meeting him fated or can i change my own fate....He's in Singapore le...And i know he's very frustrated about his job-hunting..He had apologised to me for puttng me aside all these while....At least i feel relieved that he did realise he had neglected me all these while.... I sometimes really feel useless....I know he's frustrated and i can't help him..All he told me was to study hard as it is important..Well, of course i know the importance of studies but i simply hate studying and he knows it.... But at least i did not give up going to school...At least i chose to continue my studies in a polytechnic and didn't just stop at O'levels....I always have the feeling that we will not last and i'm kinda prepared for it... I know he's afraid of commitment and i won't expect him to do so....Sometimes i wonder if it's better for us to not have that "bf,gf"thingy....i wonder if it's better for us to be just normal friends..maybe this way, we are happier.... but everyone knows..it's hard......damn hard.......


Today damn cham...dono wad's wrong wib myself..keep having mood swing............Before leaving school still "hai" le xiu hui lose her RJ...so sorry babe~~~Tml got UT....Retest somemore.....sian...haiz...go back to my movie...... "The King And The Clown"...Lee Joon Ki damn pretty la...ha ha~~~....Endz.....

x..haiz..x

These 2 days r lyk shit...Yst din go to school..was too sian to go... Woke up ard 11 plus and went out ard 2.00.....Suppose to go Raffles City de outlet but end up juz before i reach...Jen call me and ask me go Taka..Too bad i was wearing jeans..cnt go..Den she ask me go Great World.....I was like..Wad the hell la.....Excuse me.... There's no bus to go to Great World from City Hall la..... Sian...Den hab to take MRT go Orchard... Take a shuttle bus outside Tangs to go there.....Wad the F...la...... 2 idiotic hours to reach Great World..Wad the.... ReACH THERE ALREADY 4.00..... Heng dat Sharon not too bad.... She ask me to juz leave at 9.30 without saying anything....Juz to spare me from sweeping and mopping the floor...The shop is like damn big la..Heng no nid me to clean..If not i sure collapse...But i went to the wrong bus stop to take a bus home..End up have to go one big round....Sian....


Today went Raffles Place AGAIN... Same thing happen.... They ask me go City Link..Heng is downstairs nia..If ask me to go somewhere else AGAIN i rather don work la... Make me feel damn unwanted la...If i not "gian peng" i juz quit liao... City Link de ppl not bad neh....much much much better den Plaza Singapura and Marina Square de... At least i feel like human.. Did lots and lots and lots of cashiering today....today de sales over $1800~~~Haiz..tired tired tired...go to bed liao............. ZzZzZzZz........



***"gian peng" = something like damn hard-up for money..dono how to explain oso...

suay suay suay~~~~

I can't be more suay la.....this week is like so ta ma de la...last sunday suppose to work morning...end up i forgot about it and end up sleeping until 9.30am and have to bia cab down to Taka wasted $10 bucks lo..sian...During work...the full-timer...dono is PMS or wad....give me that f**king look on her face...wad the F la.... U moody ur prob la...show us that face for wad..F man...After work...walk over to somerset to take bus home....Pu bor~~Some stupid woman..... Dono whther she know how to drive anot....Tried to chiong the red light end up too late so stuck in the middle of the crossing... Green man showing so i should croww liao...den i juz cross lor...but that idiotic woman reverse~~F sia.....idiot....if i don move back think my feet would be crushed liao...I'm like a few seconds to becoming a disabled.....Wad the....

so so so sian......really sick and tired of life....

My dad ask me to go over to Australia after i graduate from poly in 3 yrs time....He says that with a logistics diploma, it's easier to find a job over there...I was thinking if i really wer to go over..den i think most likely i will never come back le ba...Such things are hard to say....3 yrs...who know's what will happen.... i may or may not be attached by then..who know's...i may be married in 3 years time.....who knows~ha ha~~~~~~~~~~~



~~Time Will Tell~~

o.O

Friday.... The last day of school day..... Others will rather go out and chill out but for me... hee....rather stay at home and rot....... Wonder why some people can stay out for like 16 hours outside their homes and i can stay at home for the same amount of time.... Sometimes dono why...Juz very tired to go out... The thought of walkng out of my home door makes me sick... Sorry YuLing.... Really damn lazy to go Sentosa.... Or rather to even go out... But confirm will go clubbing again one day de... hee.... Sorry...Even if i wan go don think this month can make it... Damn brok le... Spent too much...And i have to depend on the remainder of my money for the rest of the month and save some for next month.....

Sian ar..... Yst went back Taka... Shouldn't have gone back.... I'm like boiling when i saw the schedule... Shit lo.... Dat idiot Jennifer.... She really sweep out all of us the senior part-timers...... She left only the newer part-timers and her daughter on the schedule...wad the F*** la..... Damn la.... Don wan me lao can at least tell me wad.... F**ker....B**CH!!!! Thanks to her... Next month i hab to drink the wind to live on liao.....Idiot~~~~ Really muz look for another job before i starve le...but who will hire me???

Called him juz now...I know i shouldn't....i know i should hab stopped myself from doing stupid things....Ok...But at least i feel more at ease...At least he bother to pick up the fone... but he really make me boil... the first thing is say to me is "been looking for me lke hell huh".....den i'm lke...wth~~ u know i'm looking for u like hell and u refuse to take my calls.... somemore can tell me... "din answer ur calls coz got no mood to listen to my voice"...OOI!!!! Do my voce make u even more moody??? Wad do u treat me as?? I mean..helo..... U wen t missing for weeks and this is what u tell me when u finally take my call???DAH!!! But aniway....he's comng back the end of the month..Din really talk to him and told him i have something to do....Ok...Once again..Wait for him to come back...Last time i'm going to wait.....

waiting for fad to email me the IG de thing...If not cnt do..........Waiting.........