FTW

Hate This messed up feeling...

Everythings Just fucked up...

Damn...

The limit..

How nice... Aerosmith concert... and I didn't get to go...

Thinking it was an all guys thing... I kept quiet...

Guess What..

One of the gfs posted a picture of the concert...

So it wasn't What I had expected it to be Ya?

How nice... this makes me Even more bent on refusing to attend ANY of their group gatherings...

Now I really feel unwelcome...

Very nice feeling indeed...

Fuck this shit...

I'll see how long I can tolerate this... 

Mars VS Venus

How much do men understand about women and vice versa?

A supposed day out watching Fast 6...

ended up w the tickets paid for nothing...

No movie.. no company...

Just because of a word I say..

He says he don't understand me...

Says that seems like when he tries to bring me out, it seems like a burden to me..

How exactly am I to say what's wrong with me.. when I myself don't know what's wrong..

I'm Tired...

Fatigue from the tight schedule during the past two weeks...

Am I wrong to suggest him watching with another friend worrying that I might fall asleep in the middle of the movie?

Am I wrong as a girlfriend to feel that.. I should have slightly more priority over his friends?

Probably the best answer I could have for myself..

Or rather the best way to convince myself... 

Is because We belong to two different world's...

Probably the love ain't deep enough...

I treasure too much that I become over bearing...

He probably loves his friends more that he felt I was unreasonable...

I've got no idea how to communicate...

Really starting to wonder... If it was a  wrong move... to turn back to him..

Could I have been better If I had moved forward?

Rants...

Sometimes I just feel I'm better off alone.........

Rantings....

What's right? What's wrong?

Who's right and who's wrong?

Who is it to judge?

I've done wrong and i feel bad...

But it seems there's no way to salvage my feelings at all...

Keeping to myself....

With no one to tell about...

 Imma going crazy pretty soon...


penna was here

Time flies..

It's been quite some time After my last posting...

Well.... a new relationship a new beginning...  That is as much as I had hoped...

But just three months since we've officially started... the countless misunderstanding and fights That went on...

Made it seem like I'm the trouble maker... not denying the fact That I did stir up some trouble... But That's coz I'm highly insecure... I'm stressed up... and I don't know how to express myself...

Reason why I'm back is simple...

I need a space to rant...  again...

I can't post all I like on Facebook..

After being shot....  with me showing my emotions to the public... fair enough Then... I'll keep it here...  still within the public,  But away from his eyes...

Been wondering...

Does the problem lie with just me... Or do us both have problems...

Probably not because we don't love each other enough... But more of just not suitable for each other...

It's getting tiring After three months...  just wondering how long more can I keep going...

Sigh....

In anyway...  good night world.....

CK 16th Annual Dinner & Dance

My 2nd Dinner & Dance with CK @ Fairmont Singapore on 20th November 2012...

Some pictures~~ :)

Rock & Roll was the theme~~

Though the whole lot of us ended up looking more like vampires~~ (think Twillight)

Anyway, had my fair share of fun~ (though it wasnt all that fun with my fellow comrades all tipsy and drunk)

Well.... Ending this post with an "inspirational" quote~~

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter doesnt mind"

Have a mind of your own, do not be manipulated. Dont take how others look at you as long as you feel you are right. Be confident, however not over confident and allow that confidence to pull you down.

In other words, stay happy. :)

penna was here

Its been a year...

It's been a whole year since I last updated...
Well.. slightly more than a year I should say...
I should probably revamp it and get my ranting area up again..

Lots of things that had happened in the past year...
Planned and those caught me unprepared..


Summarizing...

First, My love life....

A number of guys came and go throughout this whole period...

I've given up on a few... let go of a few...

Mostly moved on with their lives,with a new love interest (and mostly are happily attached)

I'm happy for them honestly...

It wasn't fair for them to go on waiting for me...

Since I wasn't prepared for a new one...

Or rather..

I'm just afraid to step into a new relationship..

A few needed wives than a girlfriend..

And hopefully they had found the one...

The one that suits their qualities of a wife..far better than me..

In anyway,all the best for them..

Secondly, My friends...

At age 24..(mostly)

most are getting hitched in these months...

Some have already walked through the chapel with the one,  entering another phase of life...

Some... getting prepared...

With all the wedding photos and posts on Facebook on their preparation....

Getting their keys to their new home...

Some already bringing another new life into the world...

Including the one that walked through 3years of my life with me...

Having his baby due in January 2013... setting up his family...

I'm glad he's living the life he wants now... honestly... no sour grapes...

Never regretted having him in my life and neither have I regretted giving up on our supposed path to old age together..

As the saying goes...  "Don't live in regrets"

AND I did... :)

He was all I ever needed... someone who loved me wholeheartedly..

All I could say is.. All the best.. my beloved of 3 years...

Lastly, My life...as a whole...

Family issues...

The main 'event that happened...

My mum was diagnosed with cervical cancer...

Refusing to undergo themotheraphy scares me...

I'm afraid... of losing her... too soon...

But all I'm hoping is that she'd be happy and stay that way... even till the day she is to leave us...

...........................

School.... I'm back at it...

.Never a fan of books....

But now that I'm at it.....

I'm to get it done....

Towards my degree...

Which had always been an aim in my life...

Till then.... I'm hoping for things to go smoothly....

At work as well...

Gotta be prepared for the turn of events set to happen pretty soon...

....

That'd be it.... a short summary of how my life has been....

Now.... I should go on looking for a new template for my blog....

Should any blog walkers have any suggestions, feel free to let me know... :)


probably with a theme...

A phrase on my mind right now....

"Life is not a bed of roses'

Should hit my sack now....

Till then.... good Night my dear visitors...if theres any.... :)
penna was here

Rants...

After last night I realized...

We are both no longer the same person we use to know...

Thinkings change as people grow...

I changed.. So I shouldn't be surprised that you changed too..

Seeing you holding on to another's hands and waist...

Honestly, just made me feel weird..

Probably was the closeness that we use to have for so long..

And the picture which i would have to face one day surfaced last night..

Caught me unprepared..

Maybe it's because I haven't fully got over it yet even though it was my choice...

But I have never regretted making that step...

Haiz...

D e c I s I o n s

Should I or should I not....

Richness or Poverty..

Which would u choose?

Being rich would mean having to swallow my dignity and may never be happy..

Staying in poverty would mean having to crack my brains every now and then to think of ways to solve the problems..

If u were me.. Which would u choose?

Happy happy

So glad to see him after 3 months...

Can finally spend some time alone..

Though timing is short n I smell like BBQ

But he delivered his promise to bring me to eat wat I wanted..

It's not e best.. But for time tgt.. It's still worth it..

:)))

Too happy to slp right now..

:)))))

I am back.....Hopefully

Everythings gone...

Gave up my boyfriend

Gave up my job..

Lost in life...

In a life hell full of debts..

I miss someone like seriously..

But i guess i was just a toy to him..

Fell for the wrong person and giving up the right one..

I'm just a bitch..

Had a boyfriend who loved me whole heartedly..

But i fooled around after the break up..

I'm a butterfly..

As what he said..

We are just not meant to be...

I had no regrets though...

Only thing is..

I'm wrong to hurt him like that..

And i'm remourseful..

Just hope he could think and turn for the better..

There's no turning back right now..

And i have no intention to turn back..

At least anytime soon..

As for the bunch of jerks....

As they are labeled as..

Are just to kill my time...

They are just nothing..

Probably the few that showed "care and concern"

Whether just faking or are real..

Could continue to be friends..

The rest..

Seriously..

Fuck off...

Going for a few interview tomorrow..

Hopefully i can start afresh and get out of this shit soon...

I've got sleeping company tommorrow.. :)

Hopefully nothing will happen between us..

He's the exact clone of me..

Same mindset..

Same shit life we went through..

But he's more cheerful..

Unlike me..

Negative Minded...

Hopefully he could enlighten me and brighten my life a little..

Shall move on to update my online business now.... :)

Which i hope could pick up...

penna was here

First and Second day of work

First Day: Reached at 7.34am.... but HR was late for work.... I waited hell 1hr for her.... didn't want to take a cab at first but I didn't want to be late so spent $8.30 on cab... Good thing lunch was cheap... Paid only $1 because of the subsidy of $1.30 from the company... pathetic though... Only one stall is available... The most economical and cheapest.., mixed veg rice... who cares la... E food is alright PLUS it's freaking cheap lar! In the office I felt so overdressed.... The rest even the sup are all in jeans.. Like WTF... Listen to her teaching me till my eyes nearly closed.... Omg..... Second Day: Raining day... Argh! Thought of wearing jeans but didn't want to be in the wrong dress code so I dug out my black old jeans(about to be sent to the welfare hm or something) and wore that.... Hell... I left y My house only around 7.30... 133 came so I thought maybe I could just hope inboard and off to work... Reached the correct bus stop.. Followed the correct people... I thought.. Till I followed them up the bus125... Bloody hell it's the wrong direction... Argh! Alighted at Aljunied and have to walk back in.... Halfway saw this bus stop.., 125 again... This time correct bus stop but I alighted too early.. Walk again and was late... Half an hour late.. Like WTF... finally gt my pass.. Stupid HR as slow as ever... Good thing the security saw me and told me... End up.. Because of the rain I gave up gg outside for lunch. Gd also.. My lunch only cost me $1.10... :) Countdown 26 mins to 5.18... Then off I go back hm.. :)

new phase of life

Today marks a new beginning... A breakup... And a new job coming on the way... I don't know if I'm happy or sad... All I know is my heart was both aching and jumping at e same time... Could be both a relief and a heartache I suppose,.. Relief cause I could carry on without liability ... Heartache cause it's my longest relationship till now... 2 years 9 months and 8 days.... I hope he could get up on his feet and live his life to e fullest... And e same for myself too....

I'm sick of life...

Life sucks to the max..

nothing seems to be going right..

why are the rich getting richer and why are the poor getting poorer?

I wan more jobs..

I don't mind lesser time to rest..

i want more money.

haix...

I need a life!!
I need another job!!!
I need SOLUTIONS!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so so so tired of EVERYTHING...

The world's smallest girl...
Don't know if she's the smallest..
But she is one of the smallest...

Kenadie Jourdin Bromley..
Really Thumbelina..

View..... her website... http://littlekenadie.com/main.php

One of the brothers in my school...
Little Chevie (2years old) and his brother Chester (4 years old)
I've been bringing Chevie down from his class from the first day i started work.
Cause his mum always comes earlier than the rest and also..
His class is on the 2nd floor..
Cute little boy...
Who says his mum is 7 years old.. :)

I NEED A GOOD REST~~~

Working was...Zz...
Haven't got the time to blog lately..
One reason..
Too lazy to wait for the stupid laptop to load..
Freaking Lllllaaaagggg...
Took unpaid sick leave today..
Yes..
I'm Sick..
Haix..
BORING!

First year anniversary coming up...
Am out of ideas for gift..
Suggestions anyone?
Best if it's handmade stuff..
But have to hurry..
I'm left with like...
3 weeks?
Argh....

Work was Zz...
I have to say...
But who says work is always fun..
It's fun looking at the kids..
But no fun when i looked at what i would be and have to do in the office...
There were many foreign students in the centre itself..
And i must really say...
They are all freaking cute..
Nice features they have..
What to say..
They are childrens' of Expats in Singapore..
I came across this Japanese boy on my second day of work...
Was supposed to pick out a boy whose mum is here to pick him..
But when i opened the door..
I saw the whole lot of them crying..
Practically everyone...
The parents of the Japanese boy were in tears..
Even the Dad..
It happens that it is his last in school and their last in Singapore
And they are schedules to go back to Japan the nest day..
Saddening..
The boy himself was crying...
Seems like he could understand what was going on and he might never see his friends again..
Though he's only in Nursery 1...
For a moment i felt like crying..
But i didn't want to add on the already "tearful situation"..
Picked out the boy and off i go...
~~~~~
Yesterday was erm...
Can't find a word to describe it..
Saturday..
Enrichment classes....
Something unexpected cropped up..
I have to take over a class for an hour cause the teacher would be late..
EXCUSE ME?!
I'm only an admin assistant..
Not a teacher...
Is that within what i am suppose to do..
Or rather am i paid to do that?
Another teacher heard what the senior asked me to do and what she said was..
"She's very fake...."
Yea..
Kinda true..
I believe the workload wouldn't be so heavy if she could increase her speed in doing things..
Just to generate an invoice and receipt would not need 20minutes..
You are not me..
I'm new..You're not..
And it didn't help when i caught her dozing off a couple of times while teaching me stuff..
I mean..
Hello..
Imagine...
You're done with the collection of money..
And filled up the form..
The envelope is supposed to be placed into a file first before the despatch arrives..
And she could just doze off..
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME?!
With her hands still on the envelope
And the envelope halfway into the slot????
PRO SIA!
How did she do that...
Zz...
I don ask for much..
Just please don confuse me further.....
~~~~~~~~~
Some out dated pictures....

on the cab on his way back to camp...

With my minnie mouse from east coast...
The meal we cook one afternoon...The prawn...My chicken...And the full meal....