Sometimes i'm just so sick of school. Maybe it's not even the school's problem but my own problem. Really don't feel like studying anymore since i go to school realizing i don't learn anything, even if i do, i'll forget everything at the end of the day. But really can't stop schooling now..My brother will hit the roof and i think my mum will disown me... Wat can i do? The world is changing and the standard of living is getting higher and higher especially in Singapore...So sian la...Everytime i think of that, i'll wonder...The number of Uni grads are going up, meaning there'll be a whole lot of degree holders. If that's so, what would a Diploma help? Perhps i should consider slogging for like dono how many years, earn enough money and just migrate..But migrating should cost more ba..Sian ar... The road to the future is ambiguous...<br>
Sometimes when i can't sleep at night, i cn't help but wonder...What if i can't wake up the next morning?What if (touchwood) i lose someone the very moment i open my eyes the next morning? Don't blame me for thinking so much..All along i'm like that...Keep thinking of these kind of things...Tried to make myself more positive..but..as u see..I failed...I just wonder when can i ever stop taking the medication...Seriously i think by the time i can completely don't take the medicine, my immune system will be like..SHIT....I'll just lie on my bed..or rather mattress and think....What if my immune system gets worse..What if i can't give birth in future...What if i can't even live till THAT future.....So many "What ifs"..But who can give me an answer? God? Maybe..Doctor?Maybe not... SOmetimes i just feel that these people in whte robes are redundant...Especially to people like me suffering from chronic diseases... Medication to us is from troublesome to part of our life...Who ould love to take medication for the rest of their lives? I just hope some nice doctor could put me off medication...But at times, i'm just so sick and tired of taking medication that ijust refuse to take t lest it continue spoiling my immune system...
I should consider myself fortunate i think..Shouldn't be grumbling in my own blog...But what can i do except ramble here?Ah min will say.."Everytime ask u to update, u say lazy...now u r saying this"..Ha ha...I just need a space to squeeze myself in...People around me are always busy with their own things..Friends...Secondary school friends, in the same poly, have their own friends...Ex-classmates from the previous class have new BFFs...Can't be always looking for them...Can only blame myself for being too anti-social...
Saw and heard Ah Min's "story" about she and "he" going out...Ah Min ar...I can't stop you from liking anyone...I know you can think for yourself...But i don't wish to see anyone around me getting hurt because of relationships...Can tell that you still like him..People changes....What he did 2 years ago to another girl does not mean that he will do it again...But bear in mind, it does not mean that he will not do it again either... Girls tend to "kou shi xin fei"..I'm also like that...I may say that i don't care about him anymore...But deep inside me..I know i still miss him...Like what i told u...He can be a friend but not a bf..to me..that's beause i have never fallen for him..But you're different...It's ok to remain as friends and if you think you really want to clear your doubts, you should ask...Although i said i regretted asking him and clearing my doubts, it is a way to give you a clearer vision...It actually shows you a clearer route in front of you..Of course it needs a lot of courage...But no matter what, i'll support your decision.. :)
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